My Vegas “Vacation” 2010

Being that it was my last weekend here in Vegas, I decided I wanted to do it big. All searches for normal, local life here have failed, so I figured “fuck it”. I’ll do it up for two days like its my best friend’s bachelor party, and hopefully I’ll enjoy my last day in Vegas(for better or worse) for a very very long time.

***

Got off work and out of the Circle Bar by 6 or 7, and was bright eyed and bushy tailed by 1 the next day. A record since going to the night shift. Naturally I was bored for a few hours because every one I know in Vegas was working or asleep still, but eventually I roped Nate into going anywhere. I had eaten a boat load of my deliciously evil unsoaked black bean(probably a future blog topic once I recover), so I wasn’t hungry but Nate wanted tacos. We went to Dos Caminos, Las Vegas. The gauc was decent and the bartender was good for conversation, but the tequila selection was out of control. They even had a mezcal named after my one of my favorite clubs in Playa. Los Danzantes reprazent.

***

Next part of the plan was to suck it up and see a Vegas show. Blue Man Group was my sentence and I was not excited. I hate “shows”. And I figured a Vegas show would be the epitome of touristy bullshit. I have to say, it was awesome. Funny, smart, good beats. I was laughing and getting down just as much as the midwestern conventioneers all around us. I had too much fun to take any photos except this one. I swear its of something cool.

What do people on vacation do after a show? Go get an expensive, “fancy” dinner, of course. At least we knew a really good place to drop some coin on good eats and small portions. MMMMM, American Fish. After a few samplings of the dangerously delicious cocktail and apps(hawaiian walu, scrumptious corn bread muffins, etc), Wiggy ended up being the winner with his mustard-marinated black cod. That shit was f-ing delicious. I had the pretty good tasmanian ocean trout.

***

The new Vegas baller-dome opened this night, called the Cosmopolitan. A crazy, expensive endeavor by Deutche Bank. It was packed and I felt excited and privileged to happen to be here opening night. I went with Nate, Wiggy and Marlene, but the theme for the entire few hours we were there was looking for lost companions. I think I was the first to stray from the pack, distracted by all the bright flashing lights. Next thing I knew, my friends are gone and I’m lost in a sea of party goers. All night I’m texting various people I came with, trying to meet up at various fountains, chandeliers, and clubs. The whole while wandering about drunk, alone and in awe. The wild goose chase was how I explored the place. I couldn’t tell you exactly where anything is, but I can tell you the Cosmo is sick. Too much glamor, fun and swanky debauchery. Luckily we all eventually made it out alive with twinkling chandelier lights in our eyes, or maybe just my drunk ass.

***

The next day was a cloudy one that I would’ve loved to stay in bed, but I was compelled to see Redrocks one damn time before I left. I’ve heard since 2007 when I was here for Living Lohan, that Redrocks was a natural beauty 20 minutes from the strip. Only 20 minutes!!! And it took me this long to make a half assed trip out there! I’m ashamed, but happy I finally drove through a portion of the Redrock Valley. Even during the cloudy sunset the drive was pretty cool. Las Vegas quickly fell away and the persistent strip malls and condo complexes eventually yielded to the natural beauty. God I love the desert at sunset. Just makes me wonder what I missed that was more than 20 minutes away.

***

Later that night I ended up watching the Chargers game at the Cantina. At this point my “vacation” had gone from balling to recovering and I needed food. I convinced everyone that we should go to Yokohama Kaigenro. I had a hankering for some more grilled octopus and soba. By the end of dinner I had bought an animatronic Santa and agreed to meet the bartender from Dos Caminos at an authentic Vegas house party.

I was thinking a house party with Vegas locals my age would be the final key I needed to figure out what “normal” people did here. No dice. This “chill” house party was the straw that broke this camel’s back. The Santa was a hit when we walked in, mostly because everyone there was on X or coke(or both/other) and ultra-excited about everything. In the end the rapid conversation and weirdos(among other things) was too much for me, and we bounced. I felt bad for not saying goodnight to our hostesses, but honestly don’t really think they remember meeting us, and I don’t really care.

***

Last Las Vegas weekend over, I just can’t wait to get away from here. Away from the crackheads, young and old, and get back to somewhere normal. I can’t wait to not ever see a desert person again. I hope I only buy bottles at liquor stores and maybe bachelor parties. To never hear the ding ding ding cacophony of slot machines and never see a go-go dancer again would be fucking fantastic. I hate all those naive bastards at the craps table, thinking their machismo will make them rich. Drunk bitches in the hallway, wobbling in heels on some stupid “girls weekend”. The acronym “EDR” will forever send chills down my spine. 3 days left.

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